by Roman aka jar
Welcome back to the sequel of this Kong Fu ...
You might ask yourself: Why are there not yet any good photos of my diorama?
I can tell you I ask myself the same question, but as I am always honest to the jungle I can just say I feel like an air mattress that loses more air everyday. Yeah, this fits pretty well ... ppppffffftttttt!!!
If you missed the first and second part of this Kong Fu you can find it here:
Games Day Germany 2013 - Kong Fu - part 1
Games Day Germany 2013 - Kong Fu - part 2
Were to start? I am ssoooooo ppppfffffttttt!!!
Spending 2,5 months in the studio, focused, slaving myself through summer really left a mark and I am sure I am not the only one outthere who feels ... yeah, empty after the Games Day. Everything was so focused on that day, the pleasant anticipation to see many nice people again, the day when all our projects have to be done, the day when the "suffering" and "slaving" ourselves stops. Pppfftttt!
I planned to relax a little during the week after the Games Day but winning that sword did not made this easy. I was so happy to recieve a thousand congratz here and there but my mind was not able to relax. No chance. This week was even more mad than the weeks before while I was hiding in the cave.
We planned to make good photos of the project as many were asking for those but we soon realised this will not be as easy: It is simply too big and were in need to get a new photobackground, etc., etc. ... this is done in the meantime but as my holidays are approaching with fast pace I won't be able to do them now. Sorry to everybody who waits for it and also who waits for the big articles about it. I know the good things come to those who wait in the end. Thanks for your patience. I really feel sorry.
Moment of Truth
I wanted to tell you about my motivation to glue 127 figures together to do this diorama and I will also tell you about my moment of truth. This moment was definatly not winning the sword.
My motivation is horrible when it comes to paint for a competition. That is what I have learned in the past. If I choose to paint a model for an upcoming event, I often failed and got stuck in too much pressure I make myself. Maybe some of you know what I am talking of. That is why I never was really able to prepare myself for Golden Demon. This time I did prepare myself but with a total different goal. Sure I wanted to enter something. First I thought maybe do as many entries as I can, but somehow this thought got washed away pretty quick as this year turned out to be pretty busy with all the book campaign, painting classes, comissions and stuff ...
I said to myself I want to create a project - not to win something - but one where people say: I am crazy. That motivation really helped me and during the process I often said to myself: This is madness! Look at your fingers, all dirty with superglue from gluing way too many figures to a base and so on ... I really fought myself to avoid thoughts of "Mmh, maybe I win something!" or "Yes, this is it! This will win something" or "This piece is a gold entry" or whatever ... I hate those thoughts as you never can plan something like the results of a competition - it just puts you under pressure, makes your emotions run wild, makes you envy others, etc. It even can turn a great weekend into sadness if your work is not rewarded as you wished for. That is why I learned not to expect anything. I learned to expect something from myself, that is the point where I can put some effort in, give as much as I can. Whine. Cry. Cheer. Sleep. Bleed. Sweat. Ppffffftttt!
Sure, some of you might now say: It is easy for him to say as he has won the sword!!! ... but I can only say to you that during all the - excuse me - brainfucks I had during the work on this diorama I really forced myself not to expect something. We are now soon heading to the Moment of Truth in this blablabla, sorry for taking so long.
Some of you maybe followed the blog posts during June/July and early August and I somehow think, maybe I was whining too much. In retroperspective I do not want to miss a single moment that I worked on this piece nor do I regret anything.
I learned so much about myself while fighting my inner demons and in the end this is what made myself proud.
At the Golden Demon Competition I learned that the project is over now and I really did not want to look at my piece anymore. I was just sick of it, knowing there could be even more work to be put in, knowing every little failure of it.
In the afternoon I took a walk around the cabinets and enjoyed the works of everybody who entered the contest and "Hell, yeah!" - there was bloody awesomeness all around. So many great painted figures, so much heart by all the painters, so much time invested, so much power in these numbers. This was my moment of truth were I somehow knew that I was not the only one who painted as a madman on something totally crazy. I, for my part saw many amazing figures, new ideas, great conversions, that I did enjoy so much that I forced myself again not to think about the upcoming contest results, rather enjoy the time with the people around and the great figures in the cabinet. Just to get away from those thoughts of "who might win what!" and "this will be winner!" and "how does this entry in my category look compared to mine?" and so on ... just to get away from these thoughts. I for me saw my personal favourites and really was stunned of the beauty and detail work of some pieces. Personal favourites, everybody has them while walking among the cabinets. A lot of people told me they think I am crazy with my project. Hey, that was my goal!!! My goal is achieved!!!
That was my Moment of Truth: When I felt the energies of all these painted figures and I knew I was not the only one suffering to get my project in. I am just a crazy painter in the middle of crazy painters. I loved that moment.
I know from my work as a judge on painting competitions that judging is hard work if you want to do a proper job and it takes time. Looking at the Golden Demon judges I was really sorry for them, having so many, many great pieces, so filled up cabinets and so less time, but as the Games Day is only one day the price ceremony arrived pretty quick.
I was really happy that my name was announced to be part of the winner ceremony like many others. The moments behind the curtain - even the air was pretty tense there - were ... I don't find words. It was like the air mattress started to ppppfffftttt already. It was so cool having Mo Ganji sitting next to me as sometimes there are moments to cherish you never forget ;)
As said: I don't remember much when my name was announced for the Sword. The memories are just too blurry and that is pretty sad when you think about slaving and suffering through summer on a big project - in the end for a moment you can not remember ... really a strange experience :D
Again, biggest congratulations to everyone who took home a demon or a finalist pin or just entered the competition. Every single figure in the Golden Demon cabinets made the Golden Demon Germany what it was in 2013.
In conclusion I can say for me that I have learnt to do a big project for the first time. I mean a really big project where you stop counting the hours after 400. And I have learned to motivate myself with not winning sth at the competition, but with reaching my inner demons and slay them. I think not an event or a painting competition is a goal worth of fighting them. The event is just the time limit you set yourself to get your project done.
After the Games Day was official over big group of painters met down at the river Rhein, a short walk from the Gürzenich to drink one or two or three bar and spent some nice moments together. This was truely a big joy! Some of my impressions:
For me it is now time to say goodbye to my beloved jungle as I am heading out for holiday to regain whatever is there to regain. I will miss the jungle but I'll be back. Meanwhile I hope the jungle will not get too quiet but I did hide some bananas for my monkeybrothers and I am sure they will get mad about them and search them in the jungle.
I found even more interesting links out there in the blog world - great posts, great people - thanks for taking so much time for this:
M R Lee - Games Day Germany - the people
M R Lee - Games Day Germany - armies on parade and GW Stuff
M R Lee - Games Day Germany - armies on parade
M R Lee - Games Day Germany - winners and photos
5th-Dimension - Games day report - part 2
Volomir's Dragon week
After the event is before the event!
Keep on happy painting!
PS: I am out of office until September 13th, 2013!
Don't expect me to do something! HOLIDAY!!!!